Access Denied

Sometimes I think society has come so far. Then you hear stories like these. What a disappointment for these couples.

Black couple denied wedding at a predominantly white church.


Welcome to the South people. But this couple is almost more outrageous than their racists church members, the couple allowed the same pastor that refused to marry them in the white church, marry them in a black church. What?!

Same sex couple denied wedding cake by bakery

Shop owner Jack Phillips works with frosting for a presumably straight couple’s wedding cake

A Colorado bakery denied a same sex couple their wedding cake, prompting a local protest against Masterpiece Cake Shop. Two gay guys found out they were not in fact the first same sex couple to be turned away either. The selectively prejudiced owner Jack Phillips explained, “If gays come in and want to order birthday cakes or any cakes for any occasion, graduations, or whatever, I have no prejudice against that whatsoever,” he said. “It’s just the wedding cake, not the people, not their lifestyle.” So actually, it is the people, and their lifestyle.


The Brewlywed Game

Owner Jim Koch overlooks one of the three ceremonies held on site Thursday

Couples and beer-lovers alike lined up yesterday to celebrate the unveiling of Sam Adams’ newest beverage, Brewlywed Ale.

Jim Koch welcomed the crowd of over 100 people who showed up to get their regulated two cases of the limited edition beer. A number of newlyweds showed up on their honeymoons and three weddings were performed on site; a first for the brewery where proposals occur frequently.

Koch said he brewed special batches of beer for his second wedding about 20 years ago, along with the weddings of his daughter and son. “The one thing I can do is make beer. That was my contribution to [his] wedding.”

Koch described the ale as ” kind of like marriage: a bit spicy, kind of complex, full of surprises.” Cheers to that.


The Onion hates this engaged couple

Sometimes you see couples like this and they’re so cute you just want to throw up.

This is why I love the Onion. They say what they want, no holds barred. Read the hilarious full story here.

(Evidently WordPress won’t let me embed this video so click on the link for the full story and video.)


Curbside Weddings

You know what they say, what happens in Vegas…

A Las Vegas business duo has created the sketchiest wedding possible – out of the back of the van. For couples who don’t want to wait in the “slow” line at the Chapel of Love, they can call the Las Vegas Wedding Wagon and be wed in just 10 minutes for the low price of only $99. “The van, which comes equipped with a minister, an altar and floral decorations, launched just last week and already has had four pairs of customers.” The Wagon will meet couples anywhere in Vegas to perform the ceremony, and is willing to adhere to any traditions the lovebirds request. The “ministers” were ordained via the internet and offer services that are “kind of non-denominational.”

The owners cited Vegas’ “The Hangover Bus” as inspiration for their business venture. “The Hangover Bus” is “known to travel up and down the Vegas Strip offering intravenous therapy to those suffering after a long night of partying.”

 

There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to start.

1. Are the weddings in Elvis Chapel really that long?

2. Rule #1 of childhood: Don’t talk to strangers and definitely don’t get in a vehicle with one.

3. Does the LVWW have some sort of deal worked out with the Hangover Bus? They could offer clients a coupon when they get married, here’s a few free drinks at the bar – be sure to call the Hangover Bus in the morning for a half price IV drip!

4. How is something “kind of non-denominational?” Sounds like a “I’ll perform whatever type of wedding you want as long as you accept that this is not kosher/holy/good/right/normal whatsoever and definitely is not recognized by your church/synagogue/indian chief.”

5. Next business venture – The Annulment Van!


A Toast to Toast

People really love the royal family.  And their breakfast.

ABC news reported this morning that a piece of toast, said to have been saved from Prince Charles’ breakfast the morning he wed Lady Diana in 1981 was recently auctioned off for $360. A mother of a maid at Buckingham Palace who was visiting at the time decided to net the piece of bread as a souvenir and has kept it ever since. Check out the full story here.

My question is – how did they keep it in such good condition? Did they shrink wrap it? Also how can she prove it was Prince Charles’? Is his saliva still on it? Do the bite marks match up or did he leave it completely untouched? We need pictures people! I bet it would be worth a lot more if it had the imprint of the Royal Family crest on it, like how people find Jesus in their grilled cheese and take it as a blessing. But who spends money on stuff like this? You know it won’t last forever! This is just another thing I’ll never understand.

All hail the Grilled Cheesus

 


And you thought your wedding was bad

The Canadian Bride compiled this list of superbly awkward, weird or outrageous weddings throughout history. They’re sure to make you cringe and be grateful if you only tripped down in the aisle.


Buzzfeed’s “5 DJs you don’t want at your wedding”

Adapted from Buzzfeed

1. “Killer Drum Solo”

I was actually expecting drums. Did the guests even notice the DJ fondling this woman? Her lack of reaction astounds me – is this a common occurrence??

2. “Don’t Touch the Talent”

Zoo rules apply to DJ booths. Who wants drunken girls throwing themselves at you when you’re trying to work?

3. “Lookin’ for a Single Lady”

Why hasn’t he found one yet?!

4. “The brick house”

Trust me, if they wanted someone to sing they would have hired a band.

5. “OK… maybe you want this guy showing up”

Life of the party.