“Monica Lewinsky ain’t got nothing on me” – Maria Reynolds

In (dis) honor of the Fourth of July, the Huffington Post looked into the married lives of our Founding Fathers and whether their loyalty to their country was stronger (or less so) than to their wives. Check out the full story here.

The best story among them is that of Alexander Hamilton.

“Alexander Hamilton suffered through one of the first public media scandals of America’s history — but with good reason. The first United States Secretary of Treasury was forced to resign from office out of sheer embarrassment when his three-year extramarital affair with Maria Reynolds became public. Reynolds’ husband, a convicted swindler named James Reynolds, blackmailed Hamilton, demanding a fee for his silence. But when a political pamphlet revealed the Reynolds liaison, Hamilton admitted, “My crime is an amorous connection with [James Reynolds’] wife.” Hamilton responded with his own pamphlet, publishing an “appallingly thorough account of the affair.” Despite Hamilton’s partially self-inflicted public humiliation and irreparably damaged reputation, his wife Betsey stood by her man and remained his wife until his untimely death during an infamous duel at the hands of political opponent Aaron Burr. “

In hindsight, it’s probably best we never made Hamilton president. People don’t seem to like it when the President cheats on his wife.

ImageWhich brings me to my next point of speculation – what if the Founding Fathers were on The Real World? This is the true story, of eight strangers, picked to run a country and have their lives taped.

A.Ham would walk around with some ridiculous nickname (like such) but being the most interesting man in the world, the cameras would always been on him. George Washington would constantly be in the confessional booth making absurd confessions. I cannot tell a lie… I totally drank milk from the carton. Ben Franklin spends his time staring out the window and writing love poems – roommates start to suspect he’s gay. John Adams is the Mormon of the group – brings about all sorts of drama when he tries to marry his cousin. But it’s normal in West Virginia y’all! James Madison invites wife Dolley onto the show and proceeds to throw lavish parties which no one can afford. John Jay never gets off the duck phone because he’s always telling his girlfriend how much he misses her and never has any fun. Tommy Jefferson would get his own 19 & Counting spinoff, fathering babies like it was nobody’s business. “Meet my kids. This is Tom Jeff, Tabitha, Taylor, Teddy, Timmy, Tommy, Tammy, and TJ.”

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