Curbside Weddings

You know what they say, what happens in Vegas…

A Las Vegas business duo has created the sketchiest wedding possible – out of the back of the van. For couples who don’t want to wait in the “slow” line at the Chapel of Love, they can call the Las Vegas Wedding Wagon and be wed in just 10 minutes for the low price of only $99. “The van, which comes equipped with a minister, an altar and floral decorations, launched just last week and already has had four pairs of customers.” The Wagon will meet couples anywhere in Vegas to perform the ceremony, and is willing to adhere to any traditions the lovebirds request. The “ministers” were ordained via the internet and offer services that are “kind of non-denominational.”

The owners cited Vegas’ “The Hangover Bus” as inspiration for their business venture. “The Hangover Bus” is “known to travel up and down the Vegas Strip offering intravenous therapy to those suffering after a long night of partying.”

 

There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to start.

1. Are the weddings in Elvis Chapel really that long?

2. Rule #1 of childhood: Don’t talk to strangers and definitely don’t get in a vehicle with one.

3. Does the LVWW have some sort of deal worked out with the Hangover Bus? They could offer clients a coupon when they get married, here’s a few free drinks at the bar – be sure to call the Hangover Bus in the morning for a half price IV drip!

4. How is something “kind of non-denominational?” Sounds like a “I’ll perform whatever type of wedding you want as long as you accept that this is not kosher/holy/good/right/normal whatsoever and definitely is not recognized by your church/synagogue/indian chief.”

5. Next business venture – The Annulment Van!

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