People love getting married in weird places, including airplanes. For proof, see this video of an air traffic controller proposing to his girlfriend via the flight intercom.
I’ve planned out the coolest airplane wedding ever. It’s unusual, it’s a destination wedding, it’s pure genius. Disclaimer: This hasn’t actually happened, at least to my knowledge. Anyone who wants to make this dream a reality has my permission, just be sure to invite me.
– Small wedding party (Less than 50) and a very small bridal party.
– A large private jet (or access to one)
– Absurd amounts of money that they’re willing to blow
– Adventurous guests
First, all guests and members of the wedding party meet at the airport. After passing through TSA, they are shuttled to the tarmac. They board the plane and are seated according to bride’s seating chart. First few rows are left open for the bridal party. The pilot doubles as the Justice of the Peace. As the ceremony starts, bridesmaids and groomsmen are walk down the aisle (dressed like flight attendants) are seated in the front few rows. The bride walks down the aisle, some asshole who checked a whole guitar plays music. The pilot officiates the ceremony over those phone intercom thingies. Guests with crappy seats are forced to watch the ceremony on the TVs built into the seat backs.
Once the ceremony is over, the reception and flight begins. Guests remained seated for take off with the tray tables up and seat backs in the upright position. After they’re in the air, the flight attendants/bridesmaids walk the aisle serving champagne and drinks for cocktail hour. After a short flight to the reception location, guests are ushered off the plane into a decorated hanger where a live band and caterers await them. The bride and groom ct cake, dance the night away yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the night, everyone gets back on the plane, is shuttled back to the home airport and takes airport taxis home with designated drivers. Boom, best wedding ever.
Inspiration for the visual learners:
When the parents of the bride complain about bad weather
When a couple has a wedding inside on a beautiful day
When a client tells us they’re pleased with their brochure
When describing the work week
When I realize this blog is more popular than my personal one
When I watch the technologically-illiterate try to use a computer
When there’s more than three people in the office
When a vendor asks for a graphics change that makes their ad look terrible
When we get new followers on Twitter only to realize they’re spam
When we’ve proposed a deal on the phone and are waiting for an answer
A couple who met through EHarmony got married in the ticket office of the S.S. Badger car ferry. They “met” online in February, and grew their relationship by talking on the phone for hours. They’ve spent an estimated 375 hours on the phone. They finally met for the first time at this ferry office, and spent only 1.5 hours together before he got back on the boat and went home to Michigan (and she to Wisconsin). They continued to have “dates” like this for several weeks. She’d travel 15 hours total to see him for 1.5. He proposed after 1.5 months of their first meeting. Video here.
– Bet that phone bill was a delight to recieve
– Something about the name S.S. Badger sounds like a bad omen for their married life
-The cost effectiveness for their dates is so poor. What is wrong with taking the weekend off?
– Now that they’re married, she’s moving in with him. But what if she doesn’t like seeing him for more than 1.5 hours a day??
A Colorado newlywed couple’s big day was ruined by a horrible guest and his pitbull on August 12.
Brittany Cortez and her new husband were just celebrating their recent nuptials when wedding guest Joel Nevarez left the reception and brought back his pitbull Skylo and sicced it on the bride and groom. The dog mauled the bride’s back and shoulders while the owner just laughed at her then proceeded to beat her with brass knuckles. Nevarez, who has a history of mental illness, supposedly has fled to Mexico to escape authorities. Bet those wedding photos came out great.
When a bride or groom writes their own ridiculously long vows
When the photographer doesn’t look where he’s going (but really)
When the groom’s ex shows up to the wedding
the bride is like…
When a bridesmaid had too much champagne before walking down the aisle
When we lose internet connection in the office
When an old person tries to be hip
When a client doesn’t pay us on time and we have to hunt them down
When the intern gets to work in the morning
When the boss walks in from outside…
…The look he will give me when he sees that last gif
Daily Finance published an article yesterday offering a few ways to lower the cost of your wedding without sacrificing too much. Author Nicole Seghetti calls them “painless.” Painless for whom may I ask? As a wedding frequenter I can personally attest to the veracity of these statements in terms of them being frivolous or not. Let us review.
1. Be your own wedding planner – Good idea for people who know the wedding industry well, are perfectionists or have OCD. A day-of coordinator will usually suffice for people who want to plan their weddings themselves.
2. Don’t serve a sit down dinner – “While you may hear some guests grumbling, you will save a healthy chunk of change.” The author is acknowledging that your guests will hate this. May I remind you that many of your guests are spending money to travel, stay in a hotel, buy you a nice wedding gift and wear proper clothes to your wedding. The LEAST you can do is serve them a meal. I worked at a wedding where the bride and groom only served hors d’oeurves all night. People were pissed they weren’t given a seat to sit in and the cocktails ran out three hours into the party. They ended up asking us for the numbers for local pizza places that would deliver to the venue. If you’re not going to feed your guests a full meal, at least warn them so they can fill up ahead of time.
3. Keep alcohol costs in check – Couples who don’t serve alcohol for religious reasons can bypass this point. All points are valid here, but be aware that many guests expect an open bar and do not bring money for cash bars. They’ll be stuck drinking water until they can find the nearest ATM. Quote from a man invited to a dry wedding without warning: “There’s no alcohol at all? Shit it’s going to be a long night.”
4. Let them eat (sheet) cake – Good idea, no argument here. Too many couples buy more cake than people can eat and end up with entire layers uneaten. Another tip is to opt for a different kind of dessert completely. Cupcakes, cookies, candy, ice cream, pie, etc are all legitimate options.
5. Be your own florist – Again, this is plausible if you’re crafty and good with flowers. Florists are professionals however and the bouquets and centerpieces they produce are probably going to be nicer than the ones your bridesmaids put together drunk during your bridal shower. To save money, have the florist use flowers that are in season.
6. DIY as much as possible – Have fun stressing yourself out to the brink of complete nuclear meltdown before your big day.
7. Skip the extras – Duh.
WordPress introduces a few new themes for engaged couples to blog about their upcoming nuptials. Why anyone would want to read about their stress is beyond me, but at least they look pretty.