Raiders Black Hole Wedding

This Raiders Black Hole wedding is probably the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen. If there was any doubt about what football has the most insane fans, I’m giving it to these guys. Just looking at the various costumes people are wearing gives me the heebies jeebies. It looks like they’re more likely to be walking down the aisle to line up for a human sacrifice than a wedding. Even the worst dressed guy there (odd man out in orange at 4:22) looks more legit than most football fans. Between the ominous bells and the makeup, it could almost be an Insane Clown Posse concert. What are they putting in that Oakland water?

Things get interesting at 1:30. And if you’re supremely let down by the end of the clip, join the club. This is one cult that doesn’t broadcast their gang initiations marriages. Or maybe Gorilla Rilla got stood up at the altar. I can’t say that I blame the chick.


Win a Rose Parade wedding

Are public displays of affection sort of your thing? Is proposing on the Jumbotron at a NBA game too small for you? Do you love the “drama” of The Bachelorette? Want a New Years Day wedding?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, and are recently engaged, Farmers Insurance is here to help you do the “big day” in a big way.

Farmers Insurance is looking for one engaged couple to get married on a “love float” at the 2013 Rose Bowl. They’re giving away a gown, tuxedo, wedding rings, a trip to Pasadena, California and tickets to the game. The couple also gets to bring six witnesses along for the ride.

To enter the contest, upload a photo and tell judges why you deserve a Love Float wedding on the Farmers Insurance Facebook app. Farmers is accepting submissions until Oct. 14., and people will be able to vote for one of four couples selected for the final round.

I can’t decide whether or not I like this idea. It would certainly be entertaining to watch but I don’t know if I’d apply.

Pro: Instead of a string quartet, you’ll get one of the most talented marching bands in the country.

Con: There’s a lot of pressure not to screw up a wedding in front of your friends and family. Add hundreds of thousands bystanders and millions more watching at home.

Pro: You will save money on your invitations. Sorry Uncle Bob, we can’t fit you and Aunt June on the float, but tune into CBS at 12pm to watch us get hitched!

Con: The rose is your only option for floral arrangements.

Pro: If you don’t like a particular photo of you and your new hubby, there’s millions more on the internet to choose from for your new Facebook profile pic. And think of the cover photos!

Con: The likely possibility of your ex finally living out his Ferris Bueller parade-crashing dreams

Uganda girl poisoned at wedding

A young girl is dead and another 70 people were hospitalized in a case of bad food poisoning in Uganda on  Tuesday. The people were guests at a wedding in the village of Buzaniro where they were served porridge. Apparently everyone at the party who tried the dish complained of a stomachache, and examiners are exhuming the body of the girl to decide if poison was the official cause of death. Officials are unsure whether it was a case of malicious poisoning or accidental under-cooked food.

If that doesn’t make you question your cooking skills I don’t know what will. Just another reason it’s a good idea to have your party catered, even if it’s a small intimate wedding at home.

Cold feet? Start running

A new study from University of California, Los Angeles found that women who reported doubts prior to the wedding were 2.5 times more likely to divorce their spouses than those who had none.  Men statistically are more likely to have cold feet before the ceremony, but it’s the women’s jitters that are more indicative of trouble later in the relationship. Nineteen percent of women with cold feet reported a divorce within four years.

Researchers say that pre-wedding doubts should not be dismissed lightly, especially if they come from the bride. Just ask Kim Kardashian

Man fakes his own death in proposal

It’s Throwback Thursday here at EMG so you know what that means… OLD NEWS!

I stumbled upon this plight of insanity from a year ago.

Headline: Before proposing to girlfriend, man fakes his own death to show her how meaningless life would be without him

Story: With the help of a director, stuntman, producer, make-up artist and boatloads of money to blow, a Russian businessman faked his own death. He told his girlfriend to meet him at the site of the “accident” so she could witness his “demise.”

“When I arrived there were mangled cars everywhere, ambulances, smoke, and carnage,” she told Russian media. “Then when I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road a paramedic told me he was dead and I just broke down in tears.”

Then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the boyfriend sprang to his feet and dropped to one knee. She actually said yes.

His reasoning? “I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me,” Bykov said. “I think it worked but I promise it’s the last time.”


– Why didn’t she kill him right there and then? Or, better yet, pull a Romeo & Juliet move and fake her own death because she simply couldn’t live without him. That would show him.

– If you have to force your girlfriend to realize what her life would be like without you – your ego is out of control. How do you fit in bed together with the sheer enormity of your head?

The best of the Comments section:

“I proposed to my wife at a romantic dinner. When dessert was brought to the table, I plunged a knife into my gut and proceeded to pull out my own intestines. My wife was so surprised when she ran over to hold in my intestines, and she found a beautiful engagement ring attached to my duodenum. We still laugh every time she changes my colostomy bag.” – MauryCompson

– The couple that laughs together, stays together, right?

“I’m kind of surprised he didn’t build a complete small town to enhance the illusion. I hear that’s what rich folk like to do.” – Cheneysheart

– Stuff white people like: massive explosions, spending ca$h on useless stuff, Conan O’Brien, crocs

“What we really should have done is fake the death of his bank accounts.” – Max Contrarian

Remembering 9/11… as a wedding anniversary

Today marks the eleven year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 20o1. Across the nation people gather to mourn the loss of loved ones, honor those who so proudly serve our country, and remember the devastating effects of hate and terrorism.

For many, this is a quiet and solemn day – a day to reflect on the events of 9/11 and their impact worldwide. In the years since the attacks, Sept. 11 has become almost a sacred day – a prevailing mood that infiltrates all aspects of daily life, including the wedding industry. Many couples have been skeptical about planning their weddings today. Is it uncouth to host a joyous celebration on a national day of mourning? Can your wedding anniversary ever be considered a happy memory when such sad sentiments overshadow the date?

It seems that couples lie in two camps – those who wish to turn the date around into a happy occasion, and those who shy away from the idea. On the one hand, to give into defeat is to give the terrorists what they want. Some see it as an act of defiance and a bold step forward to declare that we will not be consumed by such hatred. The other side may find it disrespectful to ignore those who suffered losses.

Last year USA Today published an article about couples who have toyed with the idea. The Wedding Channel reported reports that about 10,000 couples across the nation were wed on  9/11/11. Because the date fell on a Saturday, the most popular day of the week for weddings, it’s numbers were higher than usual – and much higher than the expected number today as a Tuesday.

Experts in the hospitality industry cite 9/11 as one of the most difficult dates to entice couples to book. Hotel owners have even offered what has been sardonically named the “terrorism discount” in an effort to improve sales for this date.

I predict that the number of weddings will steadily rise as we move further away from the incident. Take Pearl Harbor for example – there are relatively few memorial ceremonies on December 7th anymore – and even less resistance to planning parties. 9/11 will undoubtedly follow the same path.

What do you think? Is it inappropriate to celebrate in the face of so many who are grieving? Or is it okay to want to shed a positive light on 9/11 and move forward?

Dropped wedding ring pauses ceremony

ImageUK Bride and groom Elizabeth Gray and Lewis Aubrey were forced to pause in the middle of their wedding ceremony because the best man dropped the ring. Everything was going well for the couple until midway through the ceremony they heard a distinct “pling!” The vicar looked at the best man, the groom’s brother, and asked if it was what they thought it was. The entire congregation spent 10 minutes searching for the band without luck. Finally the bride’s mother offered up her own ring in order to finish the ceremony.

After the ceremony, the vicar returned to the church to continue looking and found it lodged between the cracks of the floor. He brought it to the reception and was given a hero’s welcome.

This story is the stuff of movies and bride’s nightmares. Who knows how much that band cost? And how mortified the best man must have been. Talk about the worst best man ever. This could have easily been solved earlier if there was a small child in the wedding party like that episode of Arthur. DW saves the day!