Worst wedding favors

Getwed.com just came out with their list of the worst wedding favors to give your guests. The list is as follows, and I could not agree more.

Sugared Almonds: Whoever thought these were a good idea is an idiot. A third of the people at your wedding will not like almonds, 1/5 will be allergic, and your elderly uncle is likely to choke on one. Oh but they match your colors? So do Skittles.  Buy a bag of personalized M&Ms, people will appreciate it so much more and you can even put your name on them!

Personalized Memorabilia: This category can swing both ways.  Pictures frames with your names on them, wedding CDs, monogrammed key rings and  mugs with your faces on them are creepy and pretty much useless after the event.  Unless you can be clever with personalized stuff, these favors usually suck.  Some examples of good ideas are coasters (practical and nobody feels bad about not taking them home) and mini Tabasco sauce bottles (OK these are totally useless too but seeing people’s faces on them makes everyone laugh).

Sachets of potpourri: Potpourri went out with the invention of Febreeze.  The only guest at your wedding that will appreciate these is your 96 year old grandmother.  For everyone else, it’s a bag of smelly dried flowers that will overpower your food and inevitable be ripped open and spread everywhere by the ring bearer.

Cheesy wedding gifts: If you think something sentimental to only you and your fiancee is THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD, you probably shouldn’t give it away.

Useless favors: Well, duh.


Traveling Wedding Circus

This couple isn’t legally married, but have had over 30 weddings. They’ve been traveling the world in an old RV, thoughtfully named Peggy.  In over a year, they’ve been to 19 countries and celebrated their “marriage” 28 times and now they’re about to do it five more times in Myrtle Beach. Says the groom, “It’s about experiencing the local traditions and cultures.”

I’m not sure what “traditions” they think they’re going to find in the wasteland that is Myrtle Beach.  It’s a east coast capital for poor, drunk college kids on Spring Break and white trash on vacation. Nothing says “I love you” like a sunburned mugshot and a forty.

Mazel tov!

You can keep up with the couples’ travels on their blog, 2people1life.com


Married with Vikings

I can only copy and paste this article. I have no words.

“Two Vikings have laid down their swords to become witnesses at a history-loving couple’s wedding in York.

Leanne Malpas, 25, and 31-year-old Alan Johnson, from Southport, asked the Jorvik Viking Centre if it could provide a couple of warriors when they tied the knot at the city’s Register Office.

Sigwulf and Bruni, aka Neil Tattersal and Emma Boast, who took part in a wedding re-enactment during the Viking Festival earlier this year, were happy to oblige. They wore full regalia as they presented the wedding rings and read a traditional Viking verse during the ceremony.

Leanne said she and Alan had come to York for their first holiday together two years ago, during which they had visited the Viking Centre, and so the city was a natural choice of location for their wedding.

“Having just the two of us and our Viking witnesses will make it extra special, unique and personal to us,” she said, adding that they would spend their honeymoon in the city, during which they would visit more museums.

Arrrghh!


Groom dies in freak champagne flute accident

Yeah, you read that right.  I’m all for stories about freak accidents but this one takes the (wedding) cake.

A groom in Rio de Janeiro died in a horrific accident just hours after tying the knot.  At their beach-side reception, the groom was dancing with a young bridesmaid when he tripped and fell forward.  For some reason he had an empty champagne flute in his pocket (uhhh…??) which shattered when he fell. A shard of glass cut his femoral vein and despite a swift call to an ambulance, the groom died of blood loss on the way to the hospital. 

Lesson learned – do not dance with glass in pocket.


Celebrity wedding officiants

Emma Stone took on a new role by officiating a friend’s wedding this weekend. She presided over the marriage of her publicist, Holly Shakoor, and “Gangster Squad” director Ruben Fleischer in California, on Saturday.  According to Us Weekly, Stone is one of many celebs that have played minister to new couples. Victor Garber married Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. Mark Consuelos did it for Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky (who?) . Easily the most qualified of the bunch, Rev Run married Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden in 2010. Survivor’s Jeff Probst was J.O.P to Jenna Fischer and her husband. And you can hire Kathy Griffin to do yours!

While having a celebrity marry you might be awesome, don’t you have to be qualified for that sort of thing? I don’t think Jason Segel is an ordained minister but that didn’t stop him from presiding over a wedding in a bar. Fran Drescher would be sweet but unless she’s a registered Justice of the Peace you might want to rethink it.


How to Gain Protesters and Infuriate People

One Hong Kong  bride’s getting a lesson in humility for her wedding gift. After posting a bold status about her upcoming nuptials, a crowd has risen up angry and ready to protest her wedding. So what did she say? “I’m not opening a charity….If you really only want to give me a HK$500 [US$65] cash gift, then don’t bother coming to my wedding.”

After many a-shared pictures, Facebook users figured out just who she was, who she’d be marrying and when and where. Nearly 1,000 people have said they’re planning on protesting her wedding.

Apparently a request like this isn’t THAT selfish. In mainland China, it’s the custom for wedding guests to give the couple packets of money, rather than household gifts, like in the U.S. Most are expected to give at least 500 Hong Kong dollars, or as much as HK$1,000 if the venue is a hotel rather than a restaurant. The gifts are typically collected at the door.

Still, requesting a minimum amount from your guests? Almost as rude as asking your guests to pay for the wedding itself. I can’t wait to see who shows up to the party.


Bears fans marry at tailgate

Just another sports-crazed couple getting married in unconventional ways.  One super classy couple of Chicago Bears fans decided to get hitched at a tailgate prior to the game against the Houston Texans Sunday.  They took their vows in the bed of a pickup truck, beneath an orange and blue arch wearing their team jerseys. About 100 drunken football fans played guest to the nuptials.

The couple’s first date was at a Bears game, so naturally they wanted to celebrate their marriage in the parking lot of Soldier Field. No place more romantic right? The only damper on the whole occasion was the Bears 13-6 loss that day.