Bad taste is universal

Fact: Bad taste is universal. I’ve recently discovered this not just walking the streets of Madrid (although I could be biased since I’m not used to European fashion). But even the media here agrees with me on this one.

Lady Mary Charteris, a Spanish aristocratic model and DJ got married the other day in this hideous gown. ImageThe gown was designed by Pam Hogg, a sometimes seamstress to Lady Gaga, which explains a lot. The “tacky and transparent” tulle skirt was complimented by white boots, a necklace and bedhead. Not a great look for this chica. Just more proof that incredibly good looking models can’t actually wear anything and still look good. A small condolence for the bumpin’ uglies out there!

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Choosing the Ugliest Wedding Gown of the Future

Bridal Guide magazine ran this story by Diane Forden who was invited to Kleinfeld’s bridal to be a judge for the “Wedding Dress of the Future” contest. The designers were all from the High School of Fashion Industries in New York City. Each student made a sketch and design board, but only five finalists were picked to bring their ideas to life.

Now, I’m all about supporting the arts. And I LOVE Mara from Keinfeld’s. She’s totally awesome on “Say Yes to the Dress.” But what were these judges thinking?! Let’s go through the finalists’ designs one by one.

1. Team Kai – Lacy, nude, bald. Reminds me of a marriage of Halle Barry’s outfit the year she won an Oscar for Monster’s Ball and Britney Spear’s sparkly nude catsuit. Not something I’d wear, but still well done.

Florals and see-through = instant fashion classic

2. Team Alicia – With the tulle, the uneven hem line and the blush tone, I thought for sure this was the winner. The color and asymmetry are two trends that are so hot right now. This looks like a couture gown you would find in Kleinfeld’s today. But then again, maybe it wasn’t futuristic enough for the judges.

3. Team Emely –  It looks like Nicki Minaj became a Vegas showgirl. I don’t know what’s more appalling, the pink and nude spandex, or the cascade of bows tumbling down her backside.

4. Team Alice – White, geometric, very haute couture. Not something you see in everyday but this definitely looks like something brides would find on the catwalk. The high collar and over-exaggerated shape make it a great qualifier for the “futuristic” component.

5. Team Jocelin – More of the two tone? Tiffany’s should sue for making their trademark color look so bad. It looks like a mermaid threw up her cotton candy.

Ignoring from my outrage with their choice of a winner, did you listen to her interview? She cites That’s So Raven as one of her influences. In case you didn’t grow up watching the Disney Channel in the 00’s, the show was about Raven Symone and her life as a teenager who has the power to see the future. We all regret our fashion choices when we were young, but this chick takes the cake with weird outfits. Raven was cute when she was little on “The Cosby Show,” not so much when she was a middle school psychic. Yikes.

I’m no expert on fashion, but I know what doesn’t look good. And this winning design, in my book, does not make it work.