Bride spends wedding night in jail

I’ve posted a lot about wedding brawls but this one is a first for Social Comedia.  This time, the bride herself was the assailant.

An angry British bride was arrested after glassing a male guest in the face at her wedding.  Instead of a romantic wedding night with her new hubby, she instead hung out in the county jail. The groom tried to intervene and sustained injuries to the elbow after a 12 person brawl was broken up by police. The brilliant police force identified the bride “because she was still wearing her wedding dress.” Sherlock Holmes, ladies and gents.

The best of the comments section:

Do you take this chav to be your awful wedded wife? – Richo

She sounds very ladylike. – tuguybear

Tattoo Fest no doubt. – Alfie


Riding the rollercoaster of marriage

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This UK bride and groom got an unpleasant surprise on their way to their wedding reception. A full fledged traveling circus had strung up right outside their hotel.  The fairground blocked off the street so the wedding party couldn’t get to the hotel easily.

The newlyweds embraced it however, and decided to join in on the fun.  The entire wedding party hopped on Disco Fever as crowds cheered them on.

I appreciate the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” attitude of this couple. However, traveling gypsies are not a group you want to join. Carnies, circus folks, nomads you know.


Mass wedding in Dubai.

First, read this article. It tells the tragically touching story of childhood sweethearts, torn apart by a love child, only to rekindle the flame and get married. Cool story bro.

What I don’t get is how they’re glazing over the most intriguing part of the story. SIXTY FIVE COUPLES GOT MARRIED. IN ONE SITTING. It’s like a drive-thru for weddings. Why is this NOT the highlight of the story??

Do they all get to walk the aisle individually or do they just follow the couple in front of them and step up to the altar? Do you have to take a ticket and wait your turn like at the deli counter? Are guests invited? I want to see some logistics people!


Traveling Wedding Circus

This couple isn’t legally married, but have had over 30 weddings. They’ve been traveling the world in an old RV, thoughtfully named Peggy.  In over a year, they’ve been to 19 countries and celebrated their “marriage” 28 times and now they’re about to do it five more times in Myrtle Beach. Says the groom, “It’s about experiencing the local traditions and cultures.”

I’m not sure what “traditions” they think they’re going to find in the wasteland that is Myrtle Beach.  It’s a east coast capital for poor, drunk college kids on Spring Break and white trash on vacation. Nothing says “I love you” like a sunburned mugshot and a forty.

Mazel tov!

You can keep up with the couples’ travels on their blog, 2people1life.com


Married with Vikings

I can only copy and paste this article. I have no words.

“Two Vikings have laid down their swords to become witnesses at a history-loving couple’s wedding in York.

Leanne Malpas, 25, and 31-year-old Alan Johnson, from Southport, asked the Jorvik Viking Centre if it could provide a couple of warriors when they tied the knot at the city’s Register Office.

Sigwulf and Bruni, aka Neil Tattersal and Emma Boast, who took part in a wedding re-enactment during the Viking Festival earlier this year, were happy to oblige. They wore full regalia as they presented the wedding rings and read a traditional Viking verse during the ceremony.

Leanne said she and Alan had come to York for their first holiday together two years ago, during which they had visited the Viking Centre, and so the city was a natural choice of location for their wedding.

“Having just the two of us and our Viking witnesses will make it extra special, unique and personal to us,” she said, adding that they would spend their honeymoon in the city, during which they would visit more museums.

Arrrghh!


Beware the single bridezilla

Anita Chakraburtty: no ring, no husband, but big plans

Single bridezilla (n) –  a women who has her entire wedding planned out, without a fiance with whom to complete it.

A Sydney woman has made Australian headlines as she searches for the perfect man, before April 7, 2013.  She’s picked the date, the location, the dress and even invited her friends and family but she isn’t even dating anymore.  An astrologer, she’s convinced that the stars will align for her within the next few months and she’ll have a ring on her finger by April.

“Astrologically I’ve got quite a lot of activity happening in October and November in my charts,” she says. She picked the date of the “because it has once-in-a-lifetime planetary alignments favoring relationships,” and its her birthday. Wisely, her friends have refused to book their flights until she at least starts dating.

Trends like this worry me.  What kind of society do we live in where women plan major life milestones without any semblance of them actually happening? I mean, I fantasize what it would be like to win the lottery, but I’ve never picked a day to do it.  I know it’s common for women to dream about their wedding but to actually put plans in motion is insane.  If anything, it probably would scare potential dates off, knowing she has an expiration date in mind.  See ya later commitment-phobes! I’ll be watching the stars to see if this chick can get hitched in time.

 


Brawl at Society Hill Wedding

If you haven’t noticed, I love a good wedding brawl. This Society Hill battle takes the wedding cake in terms of size and coverage.

The Pennsylvania Sheraton became the site of a massive fight early Sunday morning that ended with one man having a fatal heart attack and three people arrested. People began shoving in a nearby bar, and police were called in as the fight flooded over into the lobby. Two wedding parties collided and a massive brawl broke out.

Police didn’t know if the 57-year-old wedding guest who suffered the heart attack had been in any of the altercations. Police did not identify members of either wedding party, but the deceased reportedly was one bride’s uncle.

There were an estimated 50 -100 partygoers and as many police officers storming the lobby and hotel hallways. As the cops tried to hold people back, the party turned on them. In the video you can see a guy get hit with a baton, and another was reportedly Tased. No word on if the bride actually got hit, or she was just pushed to the ground.

Check out the video from a young kid, who was at the hotel celebrating his 15th birthday. “Did they just deck the bride?”