Traveling Wedding Circus

This couple isn’t legally married, but have had over 30 weddings. They’ve been traveling the world in an old RV, thoughtfully named Peggy.  In over a year, they’ve been to 19 countries and celebrated their “marriage” 28 times and now they’re about to do it five more times in Myrtle Beach. Says the groom, “It’s about experiencing the local traditions and cultures.”

I’m not sure what “traditions” they think they’re going to find in the wasteland that is Myrtle Beach.  It’s a east coast capital for poor, drunk college kids on Spring Break and white trash on vacation. Nothing says “I love you” like a sunburned mugshot and a forty.

Mazel tov!

You can keep up with the couples’ travels on their blog,


Married with Vikings

I can only copy and paste this article. I have no words.

“Two Vikings have laid down their swords to become witnesses at a history-loving couple’s wedding in York.

Leanne Malpas, 25, and 31-year-old Alan Johnson, from Southport, asked the Jorvik Viking Centre if it could provide a couple of warriors when they tied the knot at the city’s Register Office.

Sigwulf and Bruni, aka Neil Tattersal and Emma Boast, who took part in a wedding re-enactment during the Viking Festival earlier this year, were happy to oblige. They wore full regalia as they presented the wedding rings and read a traditional Viking verse during the ceremony.

Leanne said she and Alan had come to York for their first holiday together two years ago, during which they had visited the Viking Centre, and so the city was a natural choice of location for their wedding.

“Having just the two of us and our Viking witnesses will make it extra special, unique and personal to us,” she said, adding that they would spend their honeymoon in the city, during which they would visit more museums.


Bears fans marry at tailgate

Just another sports-crazed couple getting married in unconventional ways.  One super classy couple of Chicago Bears fans decided to get hitched at a tailgate prior to the game against the Houston Texans Sunday.  They took their vows in the bed of a pickup truck, beneath an orange and blue arch wearing their team jerseys. About 100 drunken football fans played guest to the nuptials.

The couple’s first date was at a Bears game, so naturally they wanted to celebrate their marriage in the parking lot of Soldier Field. No place more romantic right? The only damper on the whole occasion was the Bears 13-6 loss that day.

Man fakes his own death in proposal

It’s Throwback Thursday here at EMG so you know what that means… OLD NEWS!

I stumbled upon this plight of insanity from a year ago.

Headline: Before proposing to girlfriend, man fakes his own death to show her how meaningless life would be without him

Story: With the help of a director, stuntman, producer, make-up artist and boatloads of money to blow, a Russian businessman faked his own death. He told his girlfriend to meet him at the site of the “accident” so she could witness his “demise.”

“When I arrived there were mangled cars everywhere, ambulances, smoke, and carnage,” she told Russian media. “Then when I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road a paramedic told me he was dead and I just broke down in tears.”

Then, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the boyfriend sprang to his feet and dropped to one knee. She actually said yes.

His reasoning? “I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me,” Bykov said. “I think it worked but I promise it’s the last time.”


– Why didn’t she kill him right there and then? Or, better yet, pull a Romeo & Juliet move and fake her own death because she simply couldn’t live without him. That would show him.

– If you have to force your girlfriend to realize what her life would be like without you – your ego is out of control. How do you fit in bed together with the sheer enormity of your head?

The best of the Comments section:

“I proposed to my wife at a romantic dinner. When dessert was brought to the table, I plunged a knife into my gut and proceeded to pull out my own intestines. My wife was so surprised when she ran over to hold in my intestines, and she found a beautiful engagement ring attached to my duodenum. We still laugh every time she changes my colostomy bag.” – MauryCompson

– The couple that laughs together, stays together, right?

“I’m kind of surprised he didn’t build a complete small town to enhance the illusion. I hear that’s what rich folk like to do.” – Cheneysheart

– Stuff white people like: massive explosions, spending ca$h on useless stuff, Conan O’Brien, crocs

“What we really should have done is fake the death of his bank accounts.” – Max Contrarian

Bride kills fiance day of wedding

A Pennsylvania woman is accused of murdering her fiance the night before her wedding according to Fox News. The man died of two stab wounds to the stomach and chest region. According to reports, the bride-to-be seemed unable to grasp that he was dead and said “”I … did … not … kill … him … on … purpose.”

What were you just play sword-fighting with real knives? This is one marriage this guy should have never proposed.


8/14 UPDATE:

Na cola Franklin is being held in jail today. Speculation says she will be charged with involuntary manslaughter since it sounds like she didn’t mean to kill him. Apparently the couple was arguing and Franklin just “decided” to stab him with the kitchen knife she was holding. I can just see her on the witness stand – “I didn’t mean to kill him, I just wanted to poke him a little with my knife so his tummy would hurt.”

The Onion hates this engaged couple

Sometimes you see couples like this and they’re so cute you just want to throw up.

This is why I love the Onion. They say what they want, no holds barred. Read the hilarious full story here.

(Evidently WordPress won’t let me embed this video so click on the link for the full story and video.)